When the Lie Becomes Too Heavy to Hold

I am writing this because I can no longer pretend this is normal, and I do not mean politically normal or socially normal or even historically normal, I mean existentially normal, like the way the world feels in my body has changed and no amount of distraction or scrolling or pretending is going to shove it back into the old box it came from.

Something is wrong at a foundational level, and I do not say that lightly, because this does not feel like another messy election cycle or another regional war or another billionaire scandal, this feels like the entire operating system of the world is being stress tested to the point of fracture, and the pressure is leaking into our nervous systems whether we consciously understand it or not.

I wake up already tired in a way sleep does not fix, like my system is bracing for something it cannot name yet, and then I look at the world and I see Iran and Israel circling each other like two ancient trauma loops loaded with weapons, history, and rage, and I see the United States unraveling into a stage play where everyone is screaming their lines while pretending the fire behind them is just part of the set, and then I see Epstein dragged back into the light again like a corpse the system keeps trying to bury but cannot, because he is not just a man, he is a symbol of how fucked up unchecked power can become.

I am not interested in arguing screenshots or timestamps or which leak is real and which one is fabricated, because that misses the fucking point entirely. The point is the pattern. The point is that when power is insulated from accountability, it disconnects from humanity. It stops seeing people as sacred. It starts seeing them as leverage, assets, tools, collateral. History proves this again and again whether we like it or not.

When people talk about child rape, torture, trafficking, and even cannibalism among elite circles, I do not hear madness, I hear a collective trying to name something that feels inhuman, something that feels like power without a soul, and whether every detail is literal or some of it is symbolic does not change the emotional truth behind it. Something about the way this world is run feels predatory, and people are finally done pretending it does not.

People should be outraged. Not performatively outraged. Not tweet-and-scroll outraged. Deeply, bodily, soul-level outraged. Because if we are not, then we have accepted that this is just how things are supposed to be, and I refuse to believe that is the fucking purpose of being alive.

I think about this constantly. I think about how money isolates, how secrecy warps empathy, how entire institutions begin to operate like something separate from humanity itself, and I cannot shake the sense that what we are witnessing is not a few bad actors but the collapse of a consciousness structure that has been feeding on fear and obedience for a very long time.

People say “Israel owns our politicians,” and I know how explosive that sentence is -because it’s true, but what I hear underneath it is not hatred or ignorance, I hear rage at influence that feels untouchable, at foreign policy that seems immune to public will, at money, lobbying, military contracts, intelligence alliances, and political careers that rise and fall based on loyalty to systems that do not answer to the people they claim to represent. Call it geopolitics. Call it entanglement. Call it leverage. But do not tell me people are crazy for feeling like the game is rigged at a level none of us can reach.

And this is where it stops being just political for me and starts becoming spiritual in the most uncomfortable way possible.

Because I do not think consciousness exists just to grind itself into dust for someone else’s fucking profit. I do not think we are here just to work, consume, reproduce, obey, and die while pretending that is meaningful. I think there is something far bigger happening here, something trying to wake us up from a story that was never designed to let us remember who we are.

I think that is why spirituality is resurging, not as religion, not as doctrine, but as a raw question of why we exist at all. Why we feel this pull toward something greater even when the world gives us every reason to numb out. When the external world feels this distorted, you either shut down completely or you start searching for something real.

And this is where I cannot ignore religion anymore, because it sits right in the center of all of this like an unexamined pillar holding up the entire structure.

I think about how the Bible has been copied, translated, edited, politicized, weaponized, and reinterpreted for centuries, often by institutions that benefited from controlling the narrative, and yet we are told to accept it as the unchanging word of God without question (see my book “Beyond the Illusion: Awakening the Infinite Within” for a deep dive). I think about how entire wars have been fought, nations built, laws written, and lives controlled by interpretations of a book that has passed through more human hands than we can possibly trace.

And what breaks my brain is this. If the people at the very top are capable of the most horrific acts imaginable, if their ethics and values appear completely inverted from what they preach, then why do they still claim the authority of the same religious texts the rest of us are told define morality.

Why would a system that allegedly thrives on exploitation, secrecy, and abuse also insist on the legitimacy of the Bible.

Why would a structure that appears fundamentally opposed to compassion, humility, and love still promote a text that supposedly centers those very values.

Unless they know something we do not.

Unless they understand that control does not come from erasing religion, but from owning the narrative of it. From deciding which parts are emphasized, which are ignored, which are taken literally, and which are explained away. From teaching people to outsource their inner authority to an external source that can be interpreted and enforced by institutions.

I think about how fear based theology has been used to keep people obedient. How shame has been weaponized. How heaven and hell have been used as leverage. How people have been taught to distrust their own intuition while trusting systems that benefit from their submission.

And I cannot help but wonder if the greatest trick was not convincing people God exists or does not exist, but convincing them that God must be mediated through structures that profit from obedience.

If spirituality is about connection, then religion as an institution has often been about control.

Not always. Not everywhere. But often enough that it cannot be ignored.

I think the shift people talk about is not about abandoning spirituality, but about reclaiming it. About realizing that no book, no church, no government, no system gets to define your relationship to existence itself.

I think this is why the UFO phenomenon is surfacing now, not as entertainment, but as a crack in the worldview we were handed. Because if we are not alone, if reality is far more layered and mysterious than we were taught, then every authority built on fear and separation starts to lose its grip.

That scares the shit out of control structures.

Because if humanity realizes it is not small, not isolated, not powerless, then fear loses its grip, authority loses its spell, and meaning stops being something handed down and starts being something remembered.

I do not claim to have all the answers. I am not pretending I know the full truth. But I know this much.

This is not normal, it is not sustainable, and it most certainly is not random.

Something is breaking open.

And maybe the real point of being alive right now is not to be comfortable, but to be conscious. To choose awareness even when it hurts. To refuse to look away even when it is easier. To trust that whatever is waking up inside us is not here to destroy us, but to remind us of something we forgot.

Because whatever comes next is going to be built by the people who are willing to feel, to question, and to remember.

And I choose to be one of them.